I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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