His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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