Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
