Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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