my mouth tastes like poor choices
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
