I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
