the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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