I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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