I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
