She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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