Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
