I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize