My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she smelled like a LAN party
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
