There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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