Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
