apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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