His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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