This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
