I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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