i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
