Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
