I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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