We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
