she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
