she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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