like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
