I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he shaved USA in his pubs
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
