But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We need to get me chipped asap
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
