her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
