just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
