I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize