Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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