whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
one might say we're banned from that church
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
