You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
