Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
