Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
