you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
