What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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