I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
