If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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