I'm jealous of your bromance
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
