so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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