I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
