She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
