can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
