butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've blown a few things in my day
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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