Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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(828): View more from North Carolina

you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.

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(316): View more from Kansas

Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.

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(409): View more from Texas

You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.

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