You just made me feel so damn special
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
