Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize