Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize