Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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