my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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