so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
