I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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