woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
