he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
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