were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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