Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
