we're blogging at a bar
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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