I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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