you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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