I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
