A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
worst night to have a conscience
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
