somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
